HELPING STRATEGIES FOR PARENTS

 

LISTEN TO YOUR TEEN ~

Listening and valuing adolescent ideas is what promotes the ability of parents to effectively with them. Listening to a teen does not mean giving advice and attempting to correct the situation.

 

ACT ON TEACHABLE MOMENTS ~

These are the besst times during the day to talk. Issues such as death, sexual behavior, or substance abuse can come up anytime. Take advantage of these windows of opportunity, even if they're only 30 seconds long.

 

TALK ABOUT VALUES AND ETHICAL BEHAVIOR ~

Passing along a strong sense of values is one of the fundamental tasks of being a parent. Timing is important. Teenagers are likely to be more receptive if, instead of sitting them down and saying "We need to have a talk," you bring up these issues casually. For example, a good time for these discussions is while you are driving with your teen in the car. Not only do you have a captive audience, you also avoid the need for eye contact. This can help teens feel more comfortable.

 

FOCUS ON WHAT IS IMPORTANT ~

Most teens feel compelled to try out different roles. This can be irritating and bewildering to parents. But as painful as it may be to watch, it is one way that teen learn to function on their own without having to consult their parents about every decision. Safety is non-negotiable issue.

 

BE WILLING TO BE UNPOPULAR ~

Hold your ground - and try not to take it personally. Make sure they understand how strongly you feel about a given situation and that you have the information you need to make a decision.

 

AVOID ARGUING ~

Arguing only fuels hostility - and it doesn't get you heard. Here are some principles to follow:

1.) Don't feel obliged to judge everything your teen says. Retain the mutal right to disagree.

2.) Never try to with someone who is upset - it is futile. Wait until tempers have cooled off before trying to sort out a disagreement.

3.) Don't try to talk to teens out of their feelings. They have the right to be hurt, angry and disappointed - just as you do. You can acknowledge someone's reaction without condoning it. This type of response often defuses anger.

 

BE RESPECTFUL ~

Parent get offended when children threat them discourteously. But they often fail to recognize  when they're doing the same to them.

 

HELP TEEN LEARN FROM EXPERIENCE ~

Sometimes dealing with the consequences of their actions inspires sensible behavior more effectively than any leccture or discussion.

 

ENCOURAGE PARTICIPATION IN ACTIVITIES ~

If adolescents can develop a sense of competency in acceptable activities, he or she will feel worthy and accepted.