Getting Respect, Responsibility, and Reliability from Teens

RESPECT:  Respect is a two-way street, but it starts with you. Give your teens the respect that you would like to be given. Give them credit for their knowledge and abilities; pay attention and listen to them. That means showing confidence in your teens, and being supportive.

RESPONSIBILITY:  Teens are learning to take care of themselves as they prepare for adulthood. That's what growing up is all about. Give them an appropriate amount of freedom and independence. Encourage and promote responsibility and good desion-making, offering support and gentle help with difficult decisions. Let your teens know they can gain more freedom as they demonstrate increasingly responsible behavior.

RELIABILITY: Part of growing up is learning and adapting to rules - rules about driving and work, rules about drinking and dating, social rules and family rules. Teens will test the rules, but over time most will make these rules part of their lives. This kind of reliability is worthy of recognition and praise. When you can rely on your teens behaving responsibly, it may be time to give them more freedom.

Parents should believe in their teens; set high standards for them, encourage them, expect them to achieve their goals, and provide consistent love and support - including practical help - so they can achieve the promise that lies within them.