Pick your battles. Sometimes the issue is not worth the anger, or worth arguing about.
Take a deep breath; count to ten. Think about the issue before a single word comes out of your mouth.
Go for a walk.
Use "self-talk" to calm down. That is, say something soothing to yourself such as:
"I need to relax and stay calm. I can't afford to blow up."
Reframe the issue. For example, when your son says something rude to you, it may be less a matter of him disrespecting you than a sign that he has a problem with his anger. "Framing" it this way, you focus on the fact that he needs your help in overcoming this problem.
Use humor. Humor can sometimes be a good way to calm anger, but be sure not to use sarcasm, which can sometimes be hurtful.
Sometimes the hardest part of helping children learn to manage their anger is that parents
have to look at their anger is that parents have to look at their own practices. Parents need to ask:
Do I express anger in positive and constructive ways?
Do I resolve conflict well?
Have I taught my children to accept and express their anger?